tearlily

A Little of Everything type of Site

About

Hello there,

What can I say about me? Well I’m a pretty complicated person. I’ve never really liked to talk to people about my childhood mostly because it confuses people and I usually get pretty emotional about it. I’ve become much better with talking about it now though and this isn’t exactly talking about it. It’s writing, which seems to help keep thoughts together more.  So, here goes the shortest version of my life that I can muster.

I was born in New Orleans, Louisiana, America  in the middle of August. I am a true Leo, through and through.  My Biological parents are both from Vietnam. My Biological Father is almost completely Vietnamese but with some Chinese in him.  From what I understand, from My only full blooded brother, is that there was a marriage probably a century ago with a Chinese man (and I am guessing it is a man because I have a Chinese last name) into our family. My Biological Mother is half Vietnamese and half Caucasian. She was born during the war between the two sides of Vietnam (at the time) and Americans came over. She never knew her father and my heart aches to know that she was bullied as a kid because of being half and half. This was all told to me more recently by my biological father. My Biological mother has one sister who I have met and a mother who looks practically identical to her and yeah I met her too. My Biological parents and aunt came over to America. My I suppose Grandmother came to visit at some point.

My biological parents got divorced when I was around 4 or 5. I had only one brother at the time. He went with my father and I went with my mother. She took me to Charleston, South Carolina with her. She worked a lot (She’s a workaholic and she really does have amazing work ethics and I don’t think i got those genes) and so I was at a baby sitter’s a lot and then when school started I would go to after school care a lot. My mother met this lady and she offered to take care of me and so I went over at her house a lot because her husband worked and she stayed at home. She loves children. She became basically like an adopted grandma and her husband became my Grandpa. I lived half at my mothers and half at my grandparents up till the summer before I went into 2nd grade. My Grandma had a lot of heart issues and so she wanted to move to Central Florida because they have better doctors then South Carolina. My Grandpa had a lot of family that lived there (a lot of older folks come down to Florida to retire because of the weather.). So they moved during the summer and asked if I could come and visit during the summer. My mother said yes and she never really asked for me back, so I stayed in Florida and enrolled into 2nd grade there and have been there up till now, high school.

Well my grandma would take me every year back up to South Carolina to visit and I never liked this because I hate long car rides and when I was much younger it would make me sick. Its much better now due to iPods and kindles and whatnot.  Well at some point my mother had gotten remarried to somebody and  I would like to point out that I have never liked him. He scared me when I was little and I won’t into depth about it. They had two kids, both boys. My half brothers. When we went down to visit my mother said to take one of them back to Florida with us for a few weeks or so because having both boys was too much for her. My Little brother that we took back to Florida was only 6 months old and he stayed with us until he was around 3 years old. She then came down to visit two times. At which point I had already started calling my grandparents, mom and dad. She barely ever called me or my little brother and only when he came and lived with us did she ever visit. True dedication of a mother to her only daughter, eh? not.

She tried to take my little brother with her but he didn’t want to go because he honestly didn’t know her and he was scared and it was all during thanksgiving and the police had to come and tell her and her husband to leave. We went to court and they wouldn’t let me testify or anything about staying and about my little brother staying. In the end the judge gave my parents (my adoptive parents basically) custody of me and gave my little brother back to my biological mother. We are suppose to have visitation where he could come to Florida but she never did let us take him down here.  She only allows us to go see him and it usually doesn’t last long and it causes so much heart ache and I always feel so guilty about not thinking about him every minute of my life.

Later on after this my “adoptive mom” just became depressed and just awful. My adoptive dad and I always had a lot of things in common like Out doorsie things and running. He coached my Cross Country team during my 7th and 8th grade years and during my 6th grade year he trained me for Cross Country. He taught me how to Shoot guns and I like it but I don’t love it but it’s good old southern father daughter bonding time? Gotta love the South. : )  and well my “adoptive mom” got very jealous a lot and she would nag and yes I did love her but she was always up and down in moods and you always had to tiptoe around her and when she nagged she freaking nagged! She always did everything for everybody around us and would be all sweet and nice to everyone and then turn around and talk behind their backs. She did that often to me. Such a negative energy…I feel like it was because of her that i am pretty negative about people and that’s terrible and it’s a really hard habit to end. I we got into a lot of arguements and at some points they were so bad that I would call my grandmother up (my adoptive dad’s mom who I call mama, well everybody does) and she would pick me up and I would stay there for either the day or a weekend and at times a week.

Even when my dad didn’t think it wasn’t my fault he would ask me to just apologize to her about whatever so that things would be easier around the house and she would get over it. And because of her and him asking me to apologize I have come to just not wanting to ever apologize to her for anything. She can go shove it…any who, It became pretty bad so we went to a counselor and the counselor I didn’t like because it was apparent that she would be like oh your right and she is wrong but when my “adoptive mom” would go see her she apparently said your a great mother and your right and she is a child and so she’s wrong. If I ever saw that counselor woman again I would love to tell her that she isn’t qualified to be counseling and I would love to tell her “Screw you”. Sorry for the bad language. I’m trying. Because of her she let us walk out of there with “adoptive mom” being angry with me because I told the counselor that she was getting angry with me that week because she didn’t want me drinking her Dasani water and the counselor did nothing to make matters easier. I think she must’ve gotten her degree from watching counselors on TV go, “so how did that make you feel? Really? explain that,” and so on.  “Adoptive mom” got angry at me and started yelling at me and telling me I was a liar and whatnot and so I said to stop talking to me and put my ipod on loud and she ruined my ear buds by pulling them! (Yes, yes I am going to be bitter about my ear buds! I loved them.) I got so angry and told her to pull over and let me out of the car and undid my seatbelt and kept opening and closing my door and this was on a highway. Not my brightest moment but I was like what 14? 15? and angry and wanted to get out of the car and not have to hear her yelling at me. Gosh dang it so I did. She went by a parking lot and turned slowly ( I swear it was slow!) and so I jumped out of the car with my ipod and phone. (The most important things in my life at the moment…Again not brightest moment). This guy came out of his truck and was like are you ok? and I was crying and limping over to one of those pretty grassy curb thingies in the parking lot and said yes and so…HE LEFT! What the fudge muffins? What made him think some young teenage chick coming out, whoops I meant jumping out, of a car is fine? So any who, Adoptive mom yelling at me to get into the car and tried pulling me and stuff and I said no. And called my grandmother and dad and my dad came and got me. Oh yeah I got my Ap Biology book from her car because I can’t go to school without my textbook the next day, I mean I am a good student. ha ha

So around this time it just got really bad and at some point near this incident I stayed at my Mama’s house for over a month till school ended and then went to aunt and uncle’s condo in Daytona Beach for a weekend and my cousin’s house for a week. “Adoptive mom” even had the freaking guts to be like,”well when are you going to spend time with me? because your going all over the place. Or do you even want to spend time with me?!” and what I wanted to say was “Thank you! You understand now that I really would rather not be with you? Your so smart.” but instead I said some crap about I wasn’t going to be gone that long because it was a weekend and then week and that she never asked to spend time with me.

Anyway, sorry to bore you. I guess I added a lot of stories when I could have skipped them…oh well. Well in the end during the last summer break she got into an arguement with my dad in the morning and I was there but oh no, no one wants a teenager’s story about anything. She went to the cops while he was working and told them he “hit her”. Hit you my ass. Excuse me I meant hit you my Asian/White ass.  I’ve had encounters with that before when I was little and with my biological mother so excuse me you little butt face. So anywho it ended with me staying with my Grandmother with no clothes and so I tried to pack some stuff at the house and bring it over for my dad and me and she kicked me out of my own house. She doesn’t work and my dad does and I went to school so e had our jobs and she claims the house. I had to get a police escort to get our things and it just my clothes and school stuff and that was it.

My dad and I eventually did finally get our own house and are living in it. I am going to a therapist. Not a freaking counselor lol. I have a bad taste of those now. And things are getting better. My dad is divorcing her and she still trys to make choas for us but she has no family living except a brother and my dad’s family was her family and would still be even if they separated or divorced which the separation thing was happening until she did the police thing and kicked out us.  Now my dad’s family is like screw you. My family is we are nice and friendly but when you mess with one of us your out of our family.

Well that wasn’t short and I plan to edit this but for now that’s the basics,

D.

Check out my other blog that is just for humor! Fish Abducttee Support Group

my email for this blog is: TearLilyd@hotmail.com . It is not my personal email for obvious reasons. Please don’t spam me if you have a question and please don’t say anything or send me anything inappropriate. Thanks!


6 responses to “About

  1. Anonymous says:

    I like your Blog 🙂

  2. Cool blog! Love your theme (I swear I’m not a spammer) 😉

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