tearlily

A Little of Everything type of Site

It’s been a while but hello again

on January 16, 2014

Hey everyone,

It has been a very long time. To be accurate, since July of 2013 but I can truthfully say that I have changed a lot since then. I have had a very interesting first half of my senior year of high school. I have put way too much onto my plate. What do they say? “Their eyes were bigger than their stomach.” This school year I am a supply officer in NJROTC(Navy based leadership program), President of HOSA (health Science club), member of NHS (National Honor Society), and I’m in CNA (certified Nursing Assistant).

Being an officer in ROTC…I keep wondering throughout the years why I have kept doing it since my Freshmen year. The program can be good but it depends on the person and the instructors. It has a lot of benefits but is it really for me? I have an extremely loud command voice but I can be very hesitant on making decisions. I hate putting my hair up in a bun with a passion because I have side bangs and I can’t stand how I look with my bangs being all up. I look more Chinese with my bangs up and I’m only saying that to emphasis how big my forehead is. 😦 (I am actually Chinese by at least 10 to 15 percent and my last name is Chinese but I am more of other things.) I also always feel so lonely when it comes to most of the other officers on staff and competitions and such. The best part of being in ROTC are the people in my squad in the classroom time and my boyfriend being in it and watching him do so well.

Being president of HOSA has been a struggle. None of the officers in there except for my Vice president and me do anything for the club. The members have no input on anything so every meeting is boring and I have tried making it fun and so has the vice president but it has not become any more fun and bonding…We will be having our first competition in February so hopefully then we will have more bonding time and people will find their voices. By the way, my competition category this year is Medical Assistant in a more administrative way and I really hope its not boring! Its all about paperwork in a Doctor’s office although there are medical assistants in Doctor offices that will take your vitals and are called nurses often but they are not. I have two textbooks that was given to me to read up on it, so we will see how it goes.

In NHS its just a club of a lot of people who are smart and for the most part don’t want to be there. We all, for the most part, are in so many clubs and sports and activities already and yet here is a club that is so promising to look good for colleges but it asks for way too much of each person. I already have so much going on already but lets just add mandatory meetings once a month and once every week and judge the students if they don’t do the activities set up on the weekends. Such fun…NOT!

Then there is CNA. It is not my lifelong career. Its just a stepping stone but yet I just don’t know if I could do it for the next four years till I become a Registered Nurse and then eventually a Nurse Practitioner. Taking the class in High school is so much more different than if I were to take it after high school at a college or vocational school. We have to do I believe 20 hours of classroom and instructional time and then 40 hours (It doubled since last years rules) of clinicals. Only about 12 of those hours could be at a hospital and the majority had to be at a long term care facility because CNA’s are mostly used to care for the elderly at Nursing homes although it can be spread out more to anyone who can’t take care of themselves and need assistance. We help feed, bath, change, and just about everything for these people. Its hard work. You can get paid around the range of 9-13 dollars depending on your experience and where you work which is better than minimum wage jobs but we do have a lot more on our heads. There are so many rules and laws that are suppose to be followed. Its hard work, mentally and physically but a lot of the CNA’s that I saw during clinicals seem to do it with a real feeling of wanting to help people and brighten their lives a little and to make their last years as comfortable as possible. It has truly been a tiring past week because we had so many problems getting our clinical paperwork filed and done for our class so we had to miss four days of school to do full school days of clincals and let me tell you you that you haven’t experienced true tired until you have been worked out mentally and physically (Mostly standing except for some random events of needing to change people and move them) until you’ve been at a long term care facility all day long for a couple days straight. Its also super heart wrenching for me and I cried today (at home, no worries it wasn’t at clinicals) about how a lot of these people don’t have anything except for the basic basics because they don’t have family bringing them things and doing their landry because even landry gets mixed up and might not come back. Even things like shampoo might be taken and put in another resident’s things. I just want to buy every single person a blanket and lots of teddy bears to make them feel loved and have their own things. Also I would get clothes of all sizes and colors for all of them. It’s hard to not feel like crying when I think of how a lot of these people don’t have their family there with them and caring for them. At least go and visit once in a while! Bring them some fuzzy socks and have the kids hand draw some pictures! People have no idea how something so little can effect their life and make them smile that day or even the whole week.

I’m also tired because now my weekends are not my sleeping in days because I work in the mornings at around 8:30 till when the café I work at starts to get slow. Usually its around 11:30 to 1ish when I get to leave. Its not many hours but because it is in the mornings I don’t get much sleep in at all throughout the week. I mean I do get an extra hour of sleep on the weekends then the school week though. whoohoo one hour!

I have mostly been having a little depression issues again because for most of my classes throughout the school day I have felt completely left out socially. Other people all have their clicks and group of people they are good with and they don’t want to add anyone else. I have a really hard time trying to fit in sometimes. There are times I feel completely in and great and others where I feel like I’m invisible. For example in CNA I felt completely invisible for a long time because everyone already knew each other in that class to begin with and then pretty much every time I would try to say something or ask things to classmates in that class I literally get no response from anyone. When the people are separated and around me they are so much more welcoming to conversing with me and working on skills for the class with me but for the most part everyone already has their best friend in that class but me. It sucks having an all girl class.

I’m sorry for such a very long long post but it has been a long time since I’ve been back. I shall try posting more now because I think it would help me to write everything all out.

Have a fantastic Friday tomorrow!
D.

P.S. How is everybody doing? Please let me know!

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3 responses to “It’s been a while but hello again

  1. onlytears21 says:

    im sure all of those clubs will pay off in the long run keep your chin up! as for cna you seem like you have a very warm heart maybe you could visit one of the people there im sure they would appreciate that someone is thinking about them. and about sleep who needs it right?

    • TearLily says:

      Haha You know what they right? You can sleep when you’re dead. My only problem is that I get so grouchy when I’m tired and my brain doesn’t work as well. xD

      Thank you so much! I am actually planning to visit one of the ladies tomorrow! I’m going to bring her a paper flower I made. I just wish I could do so much for all of them. And for the clubs well…we’ll see if I survive them without more crying sessions.

      • onlytears21 says:

        that is awesome! 🙂 and aaaaawwwww at least you have your boyfriends shoulder to cry on then but i hope it doesnt come to that.

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