tearlily

A Little of Everything type of Site

Update?

Well hello to anyone who still reads my blog. It has been such a long time and I think an update is due. I think I started this back in the middle of high school and now I am just finishing my AA degree. It has been almost 3 years since I graduated high school. I usually posted rants on here about different things so I apologize for that. I am still an angry little person but I have a lot of wonderful people in my life who listen to me and let me talk it all out. I appreciate them for that.

Lets see, where to start? I finished my AA degree last December and at that time was in the process of applying to different schools then applying to their nursing programs. It was a long process and I only completed one nursing application and last December found out I got accepted to a really good program. I feel pretty lucky to be accepted to it: 1) because it is one of the top ten nursing programs in Florida and 2) because my worrying about not being accepted to any BSN programs was over (plus I didnt have to continue applying to anymore because my top choice was good to go!). I am still stressing out about the program because I wont know more information about the program until the end of February when we get enrolled in an online class to find out more about the program. It will be a tough program because it is 15 straight months, four semesters straight. It starts this Summer in may and ends August 2018. I am hoping to get an apartment there and from what I am seeing online the prices for apartments, ranging from studio aprtments-2 bedroom, are looking pretty good. I want to take my dog with me and have looked for only apartments that allow dogs. My dad and brother keep saying to leave my dog with them but I know she will not be taken care of as well. I do everything for her and we are very close. I cannot imagine being away from her for 15 months and see no problem with taking her as long as her shots and everything are up to date and I have a plan set in place for food, emergency vet, walks, and so forth. I will know my schedule better soon but for the most part I think I will be able to walk her in the morning, afternoon (after classes) and evening (before bed).  I bathe her, feed her, take her on trips, take her to the vet, spend time with her and everything now. She is my dog.

I have been working at a hospital that is 40 minutes away from me on the weekends, doing nightshifts. I have been with them almost two years (will be in April). I spent about a year and a half upstairs on a cardiac floor as a CNA and couldn’t stand the bullshit anymore. I was looking for another job at the end of last summer and ended up transferring to the Emergency department as a patient care tech at the end of last August. Best decision I could have made for myself. I only wish I did it sooner. There are still problems and the patients (probably 70% of them) suck ass. You would not believe the shit we put up with from some of the nastiest people you will ever meet.  The nurses, for the most part, are very helpful and on top of it. I have learned so much from being down there and get to do so much. I never did compressions upstairs during a code before but on the first weekend in the ER, I did compressions during a code in the ICU (we ran upstairs to help/to get me some experience doing them). Everyone down there pushes me to do new things and teach me. I have been getting better at drawing blood with a butterfly needle and they have me straight cath people. It is a lot of work but the flow is much faster pace and it has helped me with the stress of emergencies haha. There are still some issues with being down there but for the most part its good. I don’t dread going to work on the 40 minutes there.

I am still taking one class online right now. Ethics. Uggghhh. It’s not difficult but finding time to read the chapters is rough because I am so tired all the time. I work Friday and Saturday nights in the ER and now I started working with an agency to help watch my family friends disabled daughter and through that I found another case to get more hours during the weekdays. I watch a mentally disabled girl for a family Monday through Thursday during the days which is very mentally draining because the mother is so picky and fickle. Always changing her mind and acting like she knows her daughter so well but yells at her and gets frustrated with her. It is very difficult and I dread going there because its constantly this and that and this and that. She is very nice to me and cooks for me and such but I am tried of it because there is no structure for her daughter and she wants me to teach a mentally disabled girl when I am not a teacher. I am a CNA. I can help people clean themselves, feed them, assist them in daily activities, and so forth but I am not a teacher specialized in  disabilities. She wants me to teach her how to write her name but the girl is unable to pick out letters and write with her hand (you have to move her hand for her) and its frustrating for her and me. I have been reading to her which the girl likes. The mother said she would get her books (literally had nothing for her) but never did, so I have been getting books for her but it is not my job to come up with things to do with her. She can give me activities and stuff to do with her but it’s not my job to buy things. It is beyond frustrating but I have to remind myself that it is to save money for school and that it is just 3 more months left. I may have to make a new post about just this because there is so much that I cannot write about in this one post.

So right now, I am working every single day and taking one class online. Monday-Thursday help with the one girl even though her mom is there almost the whole time (seems pointless to me for me to be there when she constantly correcting things like oh not that shirt and literally has her change into the same looking white t shirt), work Friday and Saturday nights. Don’t get home till 8am the next morning and sleep that whole day.

Someone rear-ended me in December and I had to get xrays of my back done. Found out I have scoliosis and my back and neck and shoulders hurt so bad. My muscles are so tight. I am going to physical therapy now which helps. I take a muscle relaxer at night for the most part and ibuprofen during the days but am trying to wean off of that since physical therapy is helping me a lot. It’s hard to find time to do my stretches/exercises that they want me to do 2x a day. I got 2 times a week after my job during the day.

 

My grandma broke her leg about two weeks ago. I got so angry at my family because they told me she fell that morning at about noon when I called them and that they were going to wait to go to the doctors during the week and that they were “doing everything that the urgent care would do anyway”. My grandmother (yes both my grandmothers are sisters and I call them both my grandmothers because its an adoptive family to me and I consider my grandma-one who broke her leg- to be my grandma too) live together my grandmother thinks she knows everything and always talks about herself in a superior way because she was a nurse many many moons ago. Instead of taking my grandma to an urgent care or the ER like she should have she let it get worse. When I went over around 6pmish my grandma looked paler than usual and around 7pm they wanted to take her into bed. My dad literally had to pick her up and put her in the wheelchair and then pick her up to put her on the toilet and then pick her up and put her on the wheelchair and pick her up and put her on the bed. She was in so much pain and got even paler and a shade of gray. She looked terrible and was shaking from the pain. I started crying because I was so angry that they let her get like this because of their stupidity and thinking that they know whats best. I wanted to call 911 so they can take her to the ER. They said she was already in bed and was going to sleep. Her leg was so swollen. I was so worried that she broke something and that she would bleed out during the night or that the yellow bone marrow (learned that in older age after 40’s some of our bones turn from red marrow to yellow fat marrow and that those certain bones if broken can cause the yellow fat marrow to travel through the blood and kill the person if it gets to the lungs or heart). I was so upset because my family are stupid assholes that act like they know everything and like it was nothing. I see people in the ER who do not need to be there all the time. I see a lot of people who need to be there and are sick and hurt. I think anyone with common sense would know to take her to get checked out. I called my family friend who I feel is family and like a mom to me (more than who was there, my grandmother and my aunt and dad) and is a nurse with her masters in nursing and taught me a lot of what I know and made me a good portion of who I am today, and told her what was wrong and cried and told her what my family did and how they wont call 911. She said she would talk to my dad. My family got so angry with me for calling her and my grandmother said she “makes the decisions around here” (because she has power of attorney over my grandma and her son (my uncle)). My aunt and dad yelled at me and said basically I was stupid. My dad said I didnt know anything because I had “only been in the ER for 3 months” (actually I have been in the ER for 6 months now and have been in the hospital for almost 2 years and have had experience with falls from assisted living as well, Basically since my senior year I have been around and taking care of senior citizens). My aunt said they had decided as a “family” and so forth. Again this is my adoptive family and they can all go suck d**k. I am so done with my aunt who I could have given a shit less about beforehand because she never cared what I had to say to begin with. My grandmother is a piece of shit who thinks she is a doctor with xray vision and I have always been tired of how she feels so superior and is power hungry. My dad has always been and on and off asshole and follows his mothers orders like a little puppy with his master. My dad basically kicked me out of my grandmothers house and I cried all night worrying about my grandma and her broken leg. My grandmother finally called 911 in the morning around 5. I got to the hospital about 6am with 3 hours of sleep and was worried my grandma wasnt going to make it. After almost 24 hours of suffering and breaking her leg, yup she broke her tibia and had to have surgery that night. M y grandmother tried acting like all was great and how it all worked out but I am so angry and hurt. My grandma suffered 24 hours. Even with morphine, she still hurt so bad. She was at the hospital all week and I visited her everyday. I brought her coffee and chocolate and a warm fuzzy blanket and pillow. She is the nicest human being I have ever known and to see her suffer that much was unbelievable.

My grandma and some friends are the only reason I would ever want to come back to visit here. I will not come back after I leave for school for any holidays. The only reason would be to visit my grandma and a handful of people. My grandmother and dad are trying to act like all is well but I will never be okay with them. Mostly because I know if any one of them broke their leg, they would have immediately went to the ER but if its my grandma or uncle (mentally challenged and physically disabled) then they can wait 24 hours. My grandma is at a rehab now and I am going to visit her as much as I can. I cant on the weekends because of my job and working all night.

Ohy vey, this is a much longer post than I originally planned. Anyway…I am stressing about many things. My grandma and her broken leg and how my family treated it. Money for an apartment and everything to start nursing school. Nursing school being for real (I so worried I am going to mess something up and they will say whoops you cant start school because of something). My job during the weekdays is killing my patience.

Another thing is that my boyfriend is in the Navy and is in Virginia. We are still doing pretty good but we really miss each other. I am so happy to have him but wish we could actually be together. I need to finish school first and then we can see where he is with the navy and if we can move in together at that point. He keeps asking me to marry him and  keep saying no but I am thinking more seriously about it now because he wants to help me through school and that way when I finish I can go live with him and work as a nurse where he is but marriage is pretty serious to me. I really want a prenuptial agreement so that if anything were to happen and we get divorced that we have an agreement of what happens when we still love each other rather than if we hated each other. I worry about divorce a lot. I think we are pretty good together and we are both growing up. He is learning to live in an apartment and pay bills and save and begin in the Navy and I am soon going to live on my own and go through nursing school so I can start making a living. We are growing up but I don’t know where we may both be in 2 years. He listens to me and we have been together for 4 years but I think we should live together before getting married to make for sure we can really put up with each other everyday haha.

 

Well if you stuck through to the end and read all of that, I appreciate it. Even if no one reads this, it always feels good to get it all out somewhere.

Keep smiling,

D.

 

Let me know whats going on with you!

 

 

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Jittery

For the last couple months I have been noticing a feeling of low blood sugar more often. I become jittery and feel like I just need to stuff my face with food and something sugary. Its a weird feeling because there are times I just hadn’t had anything to eat in a while and feel hungry. And then there are times where I have had food a little bit ago and feel full in my stomach but then the rest of my body is yelling at me to go eat something. I discussed this situation with one of the nurses at work because she was telling me about her sugar problems. She told me to get a blood sugar machine to see what my sugar level was. I bought a machine for 5 dollars on Amazon (Oh amazon prime, how I love thee). I also got some gauze and  alcohol wipes like we use at the hospital when checking blood sugar. The lancet was scary as heck to use (I had know idea people used these scary contraptions at home!). I ended up buying some similar to what we use at work. They are single stick lancets where the needle goes back inside after using it so its not dangerous anymore. The lancet that came with the machine was scary because you had to put the needle thing inside this white lancet holder and take it out. I stabbed myself with it because it was hard to open up again.

Any who, I checked my blood sugar when I was feeling jittery and saw it was at 69. I checked it throughout the week or so after that and saw it ranged from low 70’s to 80’s. I asked the nurses at work and they said that the 70’s was a bit low. I start to feel jittery and like I have to eat when it gets in the low 70’s. I went to the doctor finally and he said that it could be hypoglycemia, a thyroid issue, or pre-diabetes. I don’t think it is diabetes because it has not been high although he did say my pancreas may be starting to act up. It seems more like hypoglycemia or a thyroid issue. He sent me to get a 3 hour glucose tolerance test. I went to Quest Diagnostics and got it done. The earliest time was 10:30am though. I got two tubes of blood drawn after fasting and then had to drink this nasty overly sweet drink that is lemon-lime flavor within 5 minutes. It had 75 mg of sugar. After an hour I got my blood drawn again. After one more hour I got my blood drawn one last time.

Besides my stomach feeling gross from the drink I felt okay during the test so I was wondering if I was just over worrying and that my results were normal. After I left the place, I felt jittery and sick. I ate and felt much better.

The doctors office called my dad for some reason and he told me they told him (I hate getting 2nd hand messages) that my results were abnormal and something about aa and rheumatoid arthritis? What?

Anyway, my dad made an appointment for me for the 30th because the doctor is on vacation right now which I knew before I got the test done but was hoping the results were normal and that I could wait till he got back to find out. He told me before that he would send me to an endocrinologist if the results were abnormal. They are so I am assuming I will be going soon. I just hope my normal doctor can tell me something before I go tot he specialist. The worrying is bothersome especially since in a few weeks is my finals so I need to be able to concentrate on studying.

It is what it is. I will probably have to change how I eat, changing the big meals to smaller more frequent meals. Also I will probably need to exercise more frequently. If it is hypoglycemia, there isn’t much they can do for me.

 

 

 

 

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Back Down

I feel back to how I felt before when my dad and I were dealing with Stacie. A psycho who manipulated us and made us feel miserable. It was miserable living with her. My dad is still married to her for one more year. He made a stupid deal with her through the lawyers and court to stay married for three years so she had insurance. His reasoning was that it was cheaper but he continued to do things for her and had to pay a certain amount of money each month. She had been married multiple times before him and used every single person for half of their retirement and whatnot. She uses everyone she can and says she is too sick to do anything which i think is a load of shit. While we dealt with all this I was in such a depressed pit hole. I felt like crying all the time and felt like crap. I went to the doctors to get anti depressants which I did not like and stopped using. I went to a therapist and that helped but I stopped when I thought I was good and then started up again and stopped again.

I thought I was good now. His girlfriend has moved in after a really tough year of dealing with cancer and I thought all was good. i am going to school full time and working a full time job at the hospital. (During the summer I am doing some online classes.) As each really tough weekend goes by the worst I get with my dad. He texts me while I am on my three day twelve hour stretches to complain about dishes. One weekend he says I need to wash my dishes and make time. I said I did not have time to wash them at night before work and will wash them in the morning when i get home. He said thats fine. Next weekend he texts me saying I have to make time. I tell him i will wash them when I get home. Each weekend it was the same thing until the weekend before last he texts me this long nasty text about how I use Debbie (his girlfriend) and how I need to get a real job and so on and so forth. I got it during my break on a horrible weekend. My break was after one int he morning. I sat in the break room tearing up and then when I drove home I cried and when I was home later I cried. He sends me this nasty message about bullshit he could have told me later and then sends a message saying sorry for how he said it but that he was completely in the right. I talked to Debbie about it and she said she did not feel used. I literally eat tv dinners all weekend and throw everything away except for one day during the weekend where I eat off of plates and leave it int he sink. two plates and a fork. I told everyone not to wash them and when I get home work my shift I would wash them. I then bought all paper and plastic stuff to eat off of and don’t cook anything. Its more then just this but this is one of the main things because I work three days straight and am home four days. I dont mind helping with whatever when im there but not when im not. I am at work more than 12 and a half hours. It takes 40 minutes to drive there and 40 minutes to drive home. I get home and shower, eat in bed, and fall asleep and get about six hours of sleep but wake up on and off because its daytime. I do not have time to do anything. He keeps expecting me to do stuff. I do not have time. i feel like a zombie on the weekends. I need to sleep. He says I choose to sleep. He sleeps more each night then I do in the whole damn weekend. This also brings up a bunch of things I am pissed off about with stacie. Him trying to always make me apologize to her to keep the peace in the house even though I did not feel I was in the wrong. Him trying to tell me that I have to talk to her even though we were out of the house and I told him I never wanted to talk to her or see her again. She was telling him if I talked to her about why I hate her so much and was so angry that she would give us our dog back (which he never told me he let her have during their arrangement until i asked about it and cried my eyes out for weeks and still do to this day) . I told him i would never willingly talk to her and see her and so he told me it would be my fault if I do not talk to her when he made the arrangement. He would not block her off my phone and I kept telling him to please block her. She kept sending me text messages and voicemails. he finally did when his girlfriend told him it was wrong not to. Thats how it tends to work around here. he is only wrong if his girlfriend tells him he is wrong. Otherwise he is always right and knows everything. Its only okay if I say exactly what he wants me to say. I don’t work like that. I am my own person. Nobody tells me how to feel and think. He has always tried to control what i say and think and I can not stand that. He used to be a drill instructor and now works at lowes with 4 employees under him which makes him feel bad so he takes it out on me by trying to get control. Some of the stuff he says to me is unbelieveable. Last night in our arguement he tried to tell me he owns that car because his name is on the title (which I did not want from the beginning because my biological mother gave me that car and I have had to pay for all the things to get it fixed. he has not helped with any of the billls when we go to get the car fixed. He pays for the insurance each month and thats it) and pays the insurance so he can take it away from me and only give it to me when I go to work.

I am so done with how he treats me. I just want to know expectations of living in the house but its always changing week to week and I feel like shit. I just feel like crying all the time now. I want to move out but I dont want to be broke and not be able to finish school. I can see about getting loans and be in debt for a big portion of my life but I think its worth the debt if I am living happier then now. Why should I feel like crying all the time and angry? I can get student loans and not pay till I become a nurse and have a good salary. Then I can see about working at a hospital that will pay my loans off for a contract. I can see about renting from family perhaps. My aunt is trying to get me to tampa but I am screwed this year. I think i will just start packing now just in case for whatever I decide.

I feel back down in the dumps and feel depressed once again. I will never apologize to someone just because they are family and it will help “keep the peace” ever again. Never. I will treat the people around me the way they treat me. He shows me no respect so why should I show him any? Last summer he did this as well and I was planning to do the adult adoption with him for his birthday in june and he pissed me off so much that I said to him I was going to do an adult adoption with you for your birthday but you can forget that and got him clothes instead. I know it hurt his feelings but when you back me up into a corner where I dont trust you and feel hurt, thats what comes out. He still keeps talking about doing an adult adoption but I keep thinking that if it ends up being like this, hell no.

I know thats terrible to say but thats how I feel so I’m not sorry. I feel like he is my dad but he treats me like shit right now.

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I don’t get it (rant, just skip this if you dont want to frown)

I get so upset at my boyfriend because he has really shitty parents (excuse my language) and gets used constantly by them. I’m not upset at him because of his parents but because of how he lets himself get used. He tried to explain to me that they have lived in a nice house before and how his parents both used to work but then his mother had stopped working while he was in elementary and his dad had gotten laid off for like two years (before we started dating, now we’ve been together for 2 and half years). His parents literally did nothing about trying to get a job. No wait I stand corrected, the dad would do side jobs and ask his mother and daughter for money. They smoke cigarettes all the time and pot on the side of that. They collected food stamps for as long as they could and unemployment. When we started dating they lived in a small house in a shady part of town where I kid you not someone gets busted for drugs all the time. (Seen the cops there when I had picked him up once, and he wondered why I never wanted to go hang out at his house.) His parents share one car together that breaks down all the time, has no air conditioning, the speedometer doesn’t work anymore, and at one point the gas meter thing didn’t either.

Fast forward through time, his parents and him had gotten kicked out of the house because they hadn’t paid rent for months and months. He even told me that he was surprised they didn’t get kicked out way sooner but the owner was really nice. They went and lived with his grandma at a decent trailer park community for 55 and older. They both finally started getting a job. The father got a part time job as a janitor at a Jewish temple thats really far from here and the mother started working at a car wash. They moved over to literally the most run down trailer park down the street from his grandma’s.

They still smoke cigarettes and pot. Have a bunch of outside cats that have fleas. I don’t mind people have outside animals if you care for them properly. I personally would never have a cat or dog outside all the time. The trailer has bugs (which they have tried getting rid of). My boyfriend has told me about times where he tried to wash his clothes and some rust had gotten off the pipes and onto his white shirts, Staining them orange.

My boyfriend had started working a year ago at publix which is a great company but they work him long hours even on school nights and then he typically misses a lot of school now due to oversleeping in the mornings. His parents wanted a puppy so they kept telling him about a litter of pitbulls down the street and I told him not to get one because one, they have no room for a dog. Two, he didnt have the money for vet bills, food, shots, getting the dog fixed, and so on. Dogs are expensive. They arent small and cute forever! You have to care for them and that takes a lot of time that he doesnt have from school and work. He got a female puppy who of course grew even bigger then my dog. She eats a lot and is mainly kept in a kennel while he is gone and when she is out she has no yard to run in, and not much house to roam around. She has her shots and such but is not fixed yet so goes in heat. I feel so bad for this dog. i still get mad him over this. Don’t get an animal unless you can care for one! We got in arguments over this and he thought I was going to break up with him over it and I almost did because that is a cruel decision he never should have made. Yes he does what he can for her but its not right to have a dog kept in a kennel most of the time and then no yard to run around.

He got pressured into buying a car form his dad’s friend which is now mainly used by his dad. He knew from the start the car was going to his dad. His dad is a piece of shit. That is truly how I feel. To use everyone around you, you have to be a crappy person. I hate him the most out of his family. He has always asked to borrow money from my boyfriend. “Oh I will pay you back” What a load of BullShit.

The mother works long hours at the car wash and has lost a lot of weight. I kind of feel bad for her but then my boyfriend tells me how she yells and nags at him. No she doesn’t get to act like a grouchy mother when she doesn’t act like one. She gets mad at him for taking the car keys when neither of them are working. Where do they need to go?

I truly hate them. I don’t hate many people. There are a lot of people I dislike or find annoying but for me to truly hate you means that you really wronged either me and or someone I care about.

He is about to graduate soon from highschool. I am a grade above him. He hasnt taken his ACT or SAT even though he gets two tests free. He hasn’t filled out FAFSA to see about help with college tuition and books. He has no money saved because he decided to get insurance for his car that he barely uses. I am pissed off because I have told him to take the tests, fill out the form and even had him start it at my house, and not pay for insurance on a car he isnt using. I told him that I wasn’t going to put up with this BS at the end of this summer if he is still living there and letting them use him. I will be completely and utterly done with him and his shitty parents. I love him but will not be with someone who lets himself be trampled over forever. I am absolutely tired of trying to get him to take the steps he needed to do to go to college or at least have an option to go! He has no idea what he wants to do and I honestly can’t imagine not knowing! I have known since middle school i would go into the medical field.

He is a wonderful guy but his parents use him for every cent he has. Its surprising he is as good of a person as he is because they really havent done any parenting from what he told me.

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Night Shift Prepping

I am attempting to prep myself for night shifts. Starting tonight I will be starting my 12 hour night shifts. Of course the first six, I will be shadowing and then working with somebody but I am getting nervous about it. I am not a morning person although I will get up for work or school but its not my favorite time of the day. I love afternoons and tend to stay up a little bit at night but not all night. I will have to transition to staying awake most nights and sleep during the day. Its almost 5am. I have done a good bit of homework, currently doing laundry, had midnight snack with boyfriend at a conveniently 24/7 steak n shake, and now just waiting out my last two or three hours of being awake.

I drank some coffee earlier and have lots of lights on. As time goes on, I think I will end up really enjoying being up at night since no one else really is so no distractions means more chores and homework will be done hopefully. Right now, I am not a huge fan of staying awake on fumes to get transitioned before my first shift. Its kind of a bummer that I have all three shifts this weekend because its Easter weekend and a lot of family will be here on Sunday. I am hoping that I can wake up earlier enough Sunday afternoon to go before work but unfortunately with the drive it won’t be until around 9am in the morning before I get to bed because of the drive, shower, and eating. I figure that if I get to bed by 9am that it won’t be until 5pm that I will start waking up because I tend to sleep at least 8 hours. We shall see.

I guess I am turning into one of my hamsters now. We will be on the same sleeping schedule now haha. I would transition back to a normal sleep schedule during the part of the week I don’t work but apparently its really bad on your body. Especially for your metabolism. I am looking forward to working with a good team. Everyone seemed to get along really well. I read online, when looking up tips for the night shift, that the crews at night are typically closer because there are less people around so everyone has to work hard together.

Hope everyone is sleeping soundly,

D.

P.S. Has anyone ever worked a night shift? Any tips?

P.S.S. I would like to include I have only ever worked one night shift. It was for black Friday at a shoe/clothes store in the outlet malls. It was a one time hire/help thing. It wasn’t so bad actually.

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New Job!

I learned about this, I believe, two weeks ago that I definitely got the hospital job I applied to! I have been wanting to make some posts about this process because so many things are going through my mind. Can I handle 12 hour shifts? Will I do okay when situations come up? Can I retain all this new knowledge? Will I have a good group of people working with me?

Of course, even more questions and thoughts are in my mind but those are the ones running in my head over and over again. I just haven’t had the time to put my thoughts to paper (okay well wordpress haha). I have been working at the assisted living place each weekend and then going to school during the week. On top of that I have been going to the hospital for training in between work and school. If I find any time between all of that, I am probably with my boyfriend or family. (My dad’s girlfriend is in the process of selling her house and moving in with us so we see her more, and my brother has been over lately because he just got a new job and is transitioning due to his jobs being mainly near us which is two hours from him. My boyfriend works and goes to school so I barely see him so when we can match our schedules up, we always try to hang out.)

I applied to a bunch of CNA positions at the hospital I got hired to (and when I say a bunch I literally applied to every single opening that was not full time, so over 20) probably a month ago. I still talk to my Health science/CNA instructor and babysit for her. The other two babysitters she has works at this hospital as CNAs and told me to apply a certain way to be sure to get an interview. They told me to open every single tab up with all the different positions available and to fill each one out. After that, I pushed submit to each one as fast and at the same time as I can. I thought this was crazy! They told me it would flood the system with just yours so some directors should see it better. It freaking worked!

I got a call about two weeks later from the secretary at the Cardiac Medical unit asking about an interview time! I honestly did not expect the call within two weeks, knowing hospitals can take forever! I got an interview for the following Monday with the nurse director. I got there super early (unfortunately the commute is about 40 minutes long) and waited in my car so I did not seem too eager. I have always been told in business classes and presentations that 15-10 minutes is the right amount of time to be early at an interview. Any earlier and you seem too eager, any later and you seem like you don’t care.

I waited about 15 minutes in the nurse’s station until the nurse director came over. She was super nice! She told me how she was really new there and it would take her some time to pull papers up for the interview. She took a bit of time to get around the computer system to print papers and then asked me a bunch of questions. She seemed genuinely happy to hear that I worked in the memory care and said it must have been hard. She also gave me a bunch of advice with nursing and explained a new system (not sure if it is named the same everywhere but here its called HCAHPs). It mainly effects nurses and doctors because through the Medicare system in the United States, the government gives over quite a lot of money to hospitals through the insurance. Due to this they decided to regulate it by putting in surveys that patients fill out. These effect how much nurses and doctors may get paid because if a patient does not put they always did xyz for the patient or that the hospital rated a 9 or 10 (out of a scale or 1 to 10) then the government will not pay the full amount of money for the bill. Also if the hospital does not rate a certain percentage throughout the United States then the government fines them (I believe). Its a crazy system that I keep hearing about because now the hospital is trying to change to more of a customer service type place because they want to get paid.

Anyway, she told me that her secretary would call me about setting up another interview but that it would be a peer interview. I got called a day or two later about setting up the peer interview at 10 o clock at night. I was surprised to be interviewed by the night shift but was also delighted because to be completely honest I am not a morning person. I had to go through the emergency room and buzzed in because after like 8:30 the hospital locks up every door except the ER. It was a bit confusing to get around the hospital but I managed to get to the right unit! I waited in the nurse’s station again and later was met by maybe six different ladies. They were really relaxed and talking with each other before everyone got there. They all seemed really good with each other. They asked me about myself and just a couple questions. They told me how they would train me there for a lot of different things and how if the nurses know you are in nursing school they will show you as much as they can to prepare you. They talked about making me a monitor tech. It was short and sweet and a lady who was a CNA showed me how to get out. She talked about what it was like to work there and assured me that if I could do an 8 hour shift that I could do a 12 hour shift. She did say it is a big change but that once I got used to it, it would be nothing.

I waited almost two weeks after and heard nothing back so I called the secretary and she said I was on the definite hire list and there must’ve been a mix up with human resources. I was super delighted but had to wait a weekend before hearing from human resources. I was told probably 11am that day and filled out all kinds of paperwork that I printed off an email and faxed it over. I also gave my official two weeks notice to my supervisor over in memory care. It was awkward. This is only my second ever two weeks resignation letter. I also wrote thank you notes to the two supervisors I met when I got there and two the of employees I liked working with the most. I will miss my residents, even though it was tough at times. This past weekend was my last weekend. I told them I would come back to visit and I do plan to. I worked at a restaurant before this and said I would come back and visit but never did (there was a lot of drama going on besides just leaving though) but this time I really do plan to. These people have been in my life for 6 months. Time flies by but they will always have a place in my heart. Some have passed away while I was there. It’s tough getting to know these residents and for them to slowly lose weight and to mentally decline. I have been told that as time goes on that you need to harden up emotionally but I can’t see that happening working in memory care when I see a beautiful lady become skin and bones and forget how to eat.

Working in the hospital will show me if I want to be a nurse still or go a different route. I have a lot of training ahead of me. I hope everything works out.

Hope all is going well with everyone,
D.

P.S. I did not expect my post to go from happy news to sad thoughts when I started out. Sorry about that. 😦

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School!

Thank goodness school is back in my life! Less working in the assisted living place and more contact with people my age! It is crazy going to work and being around people who are about four times my age. The oldest lady in the place is 103! One lady turned 98 recently. Its so crazy but it is also so sad because I work in memory care only. These people had incredible lives but can’t remember a lot of it.

I’m so happy to be in class again but here comes homework and studying. This semester will be more than last semester, although this semester has a lot of online work. I really don’t like doing work online especially math. You have to plug the answers in a specific way or you are wrong completely. I prefer doing it all on paper but they have changed everything to computers and now all our quizzes, homework, and exams are online. They also switched a lot of lecture time to working in the math computer lab! So obnoxious. I want traditional classes where you show up, a teacher teaches you, and then you take the test on paper. I love and hate technology. ugh.

I am also working on not stressing. Take each day as it comes. It sounded easier when I said it and thought it. On the Brightside that giant calendar is super organized!

After I settle into all this school and work stuff I need to focus on getting another job. I am so ready for the hospital. I want to get trained and start working where I want to be already! I am also hoping to see if I can get help with school through the hospitals. I need to redo my resume now that I do have more job experience and then start the long process of applying again.

Keep smiling and don’t stress!

D.

Anything new with anyone? New job? School?

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Happy belated new years!

Happy new years to everyone! It is a fresh year. This past year for my family has been rough. My dad’s girlfriend found out she had cancer and went through chemo throughout the summer and is now going through radiation. Her daughter has had it pretty rough due to finding out about her mom, she moved in with her and stayed up at nights watching over her and taking care of her. My dad was getting frustrated with his work place and is has not been happy working there. My grandma had a stroke and had to go through the hospital. I got bit by a dog and had to get rabies vaccinations. It has been a long year but we did have good moments as well. My dad’s girlfriend found out in the middle of chemo that she was completely free of cancer but they wanted to finish all the treatments to be for sure. Her hair has already started growing back really nicely! Her daughter found out right before the end of the year that she got a job at the hospital as a lab assistant.

I can’t wait to start school this Wednesday for the spring semester! I hear other people saying they are not ready but trust me I am! I worked a lot over the break and it is certainly not my dream job. I do not understand how these other people do it full time every week. A lot of them have two jobs. Its a lot of work working in memory care day after day. I can not wait to start this semester so I can go back to working only a couple to a few days a week! I am hoping to apply to a bunch of hospitals again now that I have three months of experience. I am desperate to work in the hospital and away from assisted living facilities. Also I can not wait for my next paycheck! I worked a lot of hours this past two weeks and I cannot wait to see that it was worth it!

This new year I cannot wait to move into a nice house with my dad, his girlfriend, her daughter, their dog and my dog. I will not be living there for too long but it will be nice while it lasts. Also I cannot wait till they get married although it will be a while before then. I hope to get a new job within the next couple months or so (hopefully before summer). I have already started to get organized by asking for a shoe holder for Christmas, buying a closet organizer, buying filing folders. I will become organized! I will not say its my new years resolution but more of a goal because every time I say resolution I never keep at it for some reason. I also have a giant calendar to keep up with my schedule!

This year will be interesting. I can’t help but keep thinking about how in August I will be turning twenty. Two decades old. I will no longer be a teenager. I still have acne, have a tendency to be awkward, and am disorganized. I still procrastinate. I hope the last eight months of being a teenager will push me to become more of an adult.

How was everyone’s past year and what do you expect from the next?

D.

P.S. does anyone else’s family eat black eyed beans and greens on new years? Apparently the beans bring good luck and the greens bring money. A couple years back we ate grapes for good luck and ran around with luggage  for luck with traveling. These traditions were with different parts of the family. I guess we will see if any of it works.

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Japan’s veggietales?

I posted this a while back on my other blog but thought I would post it on this blog as well. This was just too funny to me when I watched it the first time. Hope you guys get a chuckle or two.

D.

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PPD test

I don’t know if any of you guys have ever gotten a PPD test done before but they are weird! For my new job I had to get one. I got one last year while taking my CNA class in high school. They did it in school actually for the whole class. This time it was for work so you get a slip and take it to the health place and wait like an hour for the nurse to inject you with something under your skin. It causes a bump but then later goes away. You are not suppose to rub or scratch it.

The PPD test is to check if you are infected with Tuberculosis. Its easily transmitted through breathing really close because its in the lungs. Basically the test is to see if you have those TB cells in you and if you do the stuff they injected under your skin will make you get a reaction. Typically its a bump with redness. If you are allergic then obviously there will be more problems. For me it got a little red with a slight bump and then almost completely went away before they checked it. They do a reading on it 48-72 hours later. I was so worried it was going to stay red but it went away! apparently the redness does not matter. Its the bump part. I was negative again! Yay!

If someone is positive then they have to get a chest x-ray checked by a doctor and then start medication.

It’s an interesting experience. I get to go through it every single year as a healthcare worker. joy.

D.

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