tearlily

A Little of Everything type of Site

Half way there!

Got the first set of shots for my rabies vaccinations! I survived! They really need to get stickers made up for anyone who gets rabie vaccinations. They are awful but I suppose dying from rabies is worse. Its a horrible way to die so the pain and misery for two week is worth it I suppose. Still not fun though!

The first day! How does that sang go? “The first is the worst…” It truly is. The first preventive shot is based off of weight. There is no exact shot amounts. It just depends on where the bite is apparently. Since mine is in the hand it hurt worse then usual. The nurses and the doctor were really nice. The nurses were super cool and I really appreciate their efforts to keep me from getting rabies! Its apparently pretty rare for people to get these shots nowadays. The First shot was on the top of my hand and the nurse said so that she doesn’t have to give me multiple shots she was going to fan the injection around the top of my hand, if that makes sense. I didn’t look but I must say that the actual prick of the needle didn’t hurt nearly as much as the stuff injected into my hand. That stuff burned. Then it was two more shots into my hand on the bottom under the main puncture wounds from the bite. After that it was one shot into each hip. After that it was my first vaccination into my right arm but that was a cake walk compared to the other things. So overall 6 shots that day. I was tired and sore that day and got a low grade fever later on. Those are all normal symptoms.

Third day shot. Today is the third day into the shots. I got one vaccination shot into my left arm this time. Not bad exept it made my arm really sore and I have been tired and got a low grade fever which are normal symptoms.

I have two more shots coming up. Those are just one shot in my arm and that’s not too bad. The cool thing is that the vaccination is a pretty purple color. Weird but cool.

Keep smiling and don’t ever get bitten (its not fun),
D.

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Rabies shots

So it turns out that I will be getting the Rabies shots. The first day is about three shots and I know for sure one will be injected underneath the bites and then one at the shoulder/arm and then at the hip. Then I will have to come back there the third day then something like the 11th day, all the way up to the 21st day. I will be starting them tomorrow around 1pm. I have to drive an hour and a half to get the first day’s then I can get them moved to a clinic closer to me. Not many clinics carry it because its not usually needed. I could go to the ER to get them started but seriously? That’s a lot of money just for some shots that honestly may not even be needed!

I spent most of my Thursday calling people about the dog’s paperwork. I started with the owner of the dog who said she sent the Vet’s info to the Police and Animal control. Well I talked to my grandmother on how to go about proof. She told me to call Animal control and check. I did, waited a while on hold and found out, nope! No paperwork from any such “vet”. Called owner back. She said she sent it. Asked for the Vet’s number. Called that number and got the most unprofessional response from some supposed rescue center for small dogs under 20 lbs. The dog that I got bit by was a pitbull mix and the lady said there wasn’t ever any pitbulls in her facility. Called the owner back to have not much of an explanation. My grandmother was so upset and so she called animal control, the police station, and the health department for me. I got a call form the health department from a man and he said he could get the appointments for me if I decide to go through with the shots. The owner was suppose to get the paperwork together for me. The owners are pretty much responsible for the dog being hit and biting me although I went up to the dog. I feel responsible for it too but we do have a leash law here that says you must have your dog on a leach or behind a gated area. the dog ran into the road because there was not a leash on her. I’m more upset with the fact that the owners were not more responsible for their dog! They moved there 10 days before this happened. The dog was not used to the area and should have been on a leash. Their house is directly in front of a busy road. It was around 5pm where lots of traffic was going on! What were they thinking? I’m still so upset about that poor dog being hit. It was such a big construction like truck that hit it. The owner didn’t even go to her dog. If it was my dog or even if it wasn’t I would have ran over to help the dog and get him or her to an emergency animal hospital. We have a bunch around here.

I’m sure you can tell I am a huge animal lover. My dogs are spoiled. They’re like my children to me.

The shots seem to be covered by my insurance which apparently can cost up to $1200 altogether. The only thing will be the visit costs. I think the owners should pay that. We didn’t ask anything for the stitches. If they had not buried the dog, the dog would have been tested for rabies. I think I will leave this to my dad to handle calling them. I am tired of all the calls. I shouldn’t have to be calling everyone in the universe for some paperwork that doesn’t even seem to exist. Also I am a bit upset that animal control nor the police called me up again after the first initial call. They said they would have the medic team call me if paperwork didn’t show up to sign me up for appointments. Then again, they had to hear my grandmother tell them a piece of her mind so I suppose we are all even. haha.

D.

P.S. Don’t try to help a dog that is hurt. Call the police or find the owners. Lesson learned.

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New Member to the Stitches Club

These past couple weeks have been pretty crazy. For the most part, negative and upsetting. I graduated from High school. Yay! Now I won’t have to see most of those people ever again. Well actually I will end up seeing them around town and such but not as bad as before. I feel disappointed that my Senior year was not as exciting and great as I had hoped it would be. My dad threw me a graduation party and I had tons of family down. Lets just say that there was tons of drama and I just wished we never even had it. I have a complicated family. I have my biological parents who had divorced when I was little and my biological father took my brother and got remarried and my biological mother took me and got remarried. Both have half siblings of mine. I came to live with my considered adoptive family in Florida. Its complicated and confusing and I believe if you want to know more I have it all on my about me page. Well I have my adopted Dad here who is my legal guardian although I am now 18 so am thinking about getting an adult adoption. He is in the process of getting divorce with the worst person in the world who still tries to screw with our lives, S. She showed up to cause tons of drama and also she told us that our dog passed away and apparently already had our dog Bama cremated. Bama was apparently sick before she died so S had kept from us that our dog was sick and we could’ve visited her and then she got the dog cremated and acted like Bama died the day of my graduation. She is a sick and manipulative person. My dad and I hadn’t even got to see our dog for over a year, actually closer to two years for me. We did adopt a dog a year ago from the pound who I love with all my heart but adopting another dog doesn’t fill the hole in my heart from Bama. She was a crazy and beautiful weimaraner. I like to think that if we were ever able to get Bama back while she was alive that our dog Lacey would have enjoyed her company.

During my graduation party I did get a good sum of money which I put in my savings account and then ended up having to use for my car which before this decided to go crazy on me. My biological mother gave me a 2005 Honda Accord which is a pretty decent car. The carpet came with a lot of stains and it was a dirty car so we got it detailed from someone and its a nice car, especially for someone my age. She had a car accident in it so there are some scrapes and the front grill was gone so we bought a new one and I haven’t had a chance to try to get some of the scrapes out. She did not have a clicker/beeper for it anymore so I had to lock and unlock with the one door lock on it on the drivers side. The lock decided to not work anymore while I was out shopping with my boyfriend. He had to go through the trunk and open the door. The car’s alarms went off and turning on the car with the key did not turn the alarms off. The logic for this car is just ugh! We had to sit inside the car until the alarm stopped then drive home and then my dad had to unhook the stupid horn and mess with the fuses until the alarm mostly stopped. My door handle was really ghetto and in the end after the graduation “party” we took it to a mechanic and he checked the car out and found that the steering knuckle was really lose because it was installed incorrectly. They went on vacation because the mechanic and his wife run their own business in their backyard so I had to wait for over two weeks for my car because my dad didn’t trust anyone else. I was carless for two weeks. My dad shared his car part of the time and my grandmother took me to work. The thing ended up costing me 1300 dollars because the alarm system and the steering knuckle.

Besides that I have been having a lot of medical problems. I have had this strange choking problem for a while when I drink water. A couple weeks ago I freaking choked on an eggroll from our Chinese food while we were at my dad’s girlfriends house. Who does that?? It turns out that I aspirated some of the food in my bronchi and it got really irritated. I was coughing so bad, mostly at night. I would try to go to bed around 11pm and end up starting to cough around midnight and would cough for a good hour or two, sometimes more. It was miserable. I finally went to the doctor (New doctor! My last doctor, I did not care for. this guys seems to be great so far!). He listened to my lungs and bronchi and everything and found out I had bronchitis and gave me antibiotics and some medicine for acid reflux because he thinks I might have some acid reflux that happens at night and started to damage my esophagus which is why I have been choking on water really badly. He said if the antibiotics didn’t stop the coughing I would need to get a chest x-ray. Thankfully it has stopped. I have an appointment in a month to see if the medicine helped because if it doesn’t then I need to go to a specialist to have a video camera be put into my esophagus while I am sleeping. Joy! Its seems to helping though.

My Cousins came down to visit me for my Graduation present and it had been so long since I had seen them! I missed them! It was nice! They live in Tennessee because My cousin is a nuclear engineer. He works so much! They have super expensive taste because they took me shopping at the outlet malls here which is crawling with tourist so tons of sales but also really rude people who shop there. We were planning to go to Universal as well but of course this isn’t a great month for me!

We were driving to the outlet mall last Monday in the late afternoon time and a dog got hit by a car in front of us. My cousin pulled over and I was the first one out of the car. I went over and wasn’t thinking. The dog was in a lot of pain and it still makes me tear up thinking about it. That poor dog. I was going to try to move her out of the street and she bit my hand. It was a couple chomps and then she just kept it clamped down on my hand. I had to use my right hand to open the jaw to get my left hand out. She was a pitbull mix and had a pretty strong jaw. The bite gave me three bad punctures and a bunch of scraps and cuts. My cousins got me in the car and the cops came and asked if we wanted an ambulance and asked for a number. A really young girl had come out of the house and had her cell phone and she was just overwhelmed. She didn’t know what to do. I asked her if the dog had had shots and she said yes. The girl was super upset and said she had kids inside the house. She didn’t do anything for the dog though. Some random shirtless guys around the neighborhood came out and dragged the dog to the side and it was just messed up. We went to the urgent care and was given some paperwork and was immediately brought in to the back into a draped room. A nurse cleaned the wound which loosened my hand because it was super cramped at first. I started to feel the pain and the doctor came to look at it and he gave us some options. While we waited for my dad to come I got some x rays. I ended up getting two stitches on the top of my hand and two on the palm of my hand. The shots for numbing hurt the worse out of all of it because it was one on each side of each wound. Just ow! The stitches mostly felt like nothing but I felt a little. Its been healing up well and I can use my left hand a little bit but it still hurts sometimes and its getting itchy. I have to take antibiotics for this. They also gave me narcotic for pain. I took it once and never again! It made me so sleepy for a whole day even though it was suppose to last 6 hrs. It also relieve any pain. Tylenol has been good to me. Although the pain isn’t that bad until I hit it on something and I am clumsy. I got a call from a police officer about he bite and apparently animal control has to get involved paperwork wise and the owners are trying to find papers to show that the dog has recent rabies shots. If not they want me to get rabies shots. I am still waiting to hear from the Police Officer or the Medical team. I do have the girl’s number who is the owner because the police officer told me that she wanted to thank me. I still need to call her. I feel so bad because the dog did pass away. The owners and their kids just moved their 10 days before this happened. The officer told me they had buried the dog that day and because they did they couldn’t test the dog for rabies.

I guess the experience of stitches is a good thing for me so that when I have to clean someone’s wounds in the future I will know how it feels. I plan to become a Register Nurse so its good to know but the dog getting hit and dying was not a necessary experience. If I ever see a dog get hit again I will probably still do the same thing but hopefully be more cautious so I don’t get bit.

Also We found out that my dad’s girlfriend is really sick and may have cancer. Out of the four biopsies she has had three have been negative for cancer and one is positive. She switched hospitals to go to a better, more comforting place. I hope its not cancer and that they take out whatever it is soon so she can get better soon. I broke down and cried when I saw her after my dog bite thing when I got home because she was there with us that night and we had just found out that that one test result was positive. Since then we have heard more reassuring things. I broke down yesterday crying though because this just can not be happening. I love her. My dad loves her. She is part of our family. Her sister is going through chemo and everything right now as well for breast cancer. We just have to hold our breaths for another week or so for results.

Sorry for all the depressing stuff. I thought Summer was suppose to be fun?

Keeping Smiling,
D.

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It’s awkward being Awkward

I have had way too many awkward moments out in public… I shouldn’t be allowed to go out anymore. :( I embarrass myself way too much and I almost always say I won’t ever go back there again but yet I always end up going back anyway.

The most recent one was at McDonalds to get a Mocha coffee. I kept driving too far from the window and I said out loud what the heck and at the same time I pointed at what I did. My boyfriend was in the car with me he understood what I was saying. This girl inside McDonalds was like “What happened? What did we do?” And my boyfriend and I both said “No! No! No! Not you guys!” and my boyfriend had to explain and she was like “Oh okay because I mean we do suck so.”

What’s wrong with me? Sometimes I can be so smooth and normal and other times its like did I seriously just do that??

I run into walls and chairs and I have accidently gone to the wrong car at least two times because my car is white and half the parking lot has to be filled with white cars! One time I was putting my key into the key thing of the wrong white car and I was carrying groceries so I didn’t actually get a good look till after I tried putting my key in and I was like oh… and This older guy saw me and asked if anything was wrong and I was like oh no I just mistook this car for my own and feel dumb and he did make me feel better by telling me how this lady he knew who was like in her 70’s or 80’s went into a store and when she came out she saw three men in her car and so she pulled out her handgun out and told them to get out of her car and she realized when she got into the car that it wasn’t hers and so the police came and she had to explain her mistake to them and apologized to the guys…

Yeah I think my mistake wasn’t as bad but still. haha

Have you had any awkward moments you want to share?

Have a frabjous Saturday!
D.

P.S. I want the awkward penguin t shirt now!

http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=awkward+penguin&qs=n&form=QBIR&pq=awkward+penguin&sc=8-15&sp=-1&sk=#view=detail&id=15A34FB0A9F6011BA784EB0C7D94E8F2813B04C9&selectedIndex=96

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It’s been a while but hello again

Hey everyone,

It has been a very long time. To be accurate, since July of 2013 but I can truthfully say that I have changed a lot since then. I have had a very interesting first half of my senior year of high school. I have put way too much onto my plate. What do they say? “Their eyes were bigger than their stomach.” This school year I am a supply officer in NJROTC(Navy based leadership program), President of HOSA (health Science club), member of NHS (National Honor Society), and I’m in CNA (certified Nursing Assistant).

Being an officer in ROTC…I keep wondering throughout the years why I have kept doing it since my Freshmen year. The program can be good but it depends on the person and the instructors. It has a lot of benefits but is it really for me? I have an extremely loud command voice but I can be very hesitant on making decisions. I hate putting my hair up in a bun with a passion because I have side bangs and I can’t stand how I look with my bangs being all up. I look more Chinese with my bangs up and I’m only saying that to emphasis how big my forehead is. :( (I am actually Chinese by at least 10 to 15 percent and my last name is Chinese but I am more of other things.) I also always feel so lonely when it comes to most of the other officers on staff and competitions and such. The best part of being in ROTC are the people in my squad in the classroom time and my boyfriend being in it and watching him do so well.

Being president of HOSA has been a struggle. None of the officers in there except for my Vice president and me do anything for the club. The members have no input on anything so every meeting is boring and I have tried making it fun and so has the vice president but it has not become any more fun and bonding…We will be having our first competition in February so hopefully then we will have more bonding time and people will find their voices. By the way, my competition category this year is Medical Assistant in a more administrative way and I really hope its not boring! Its all about paperwork in a Doctor’s office although there are medical assistants in Doctor offices that will take your vitals and are called nurses often but they are not. I have two textbooks that was given to me to read up on it, so we will see how it goes.

In NHS its just a club of a lot of people who are smart and for the most part don’t want to be there. We all, for the most part, are in so many clubs and sports and activities already and yet here is a club that is so promising to look good for colleges but it asks for way too much of each person. I already have so much going on already but lets just add mandatory meetings once a month and once every week and judge the students if they don’t do the activities set up on the weekends. Such fun…NOT!

Then there is CNA. It is not my lifelong career. Its just a stepping stone but yet I just don’t know if I could do it for the next four years till I become a Registered Nurse and then eventually a Nurse Practitioner. Taking the class in High school is so much more different than if I were to take it after high school at a college or vocational school. We have to do I believe 20 hours of classroom and instructional time and then 40 hours (It doubled since last years rules) of clinicals. Only about 12 of those hours could be at a hospital and the majority had to be at a long term care facility because CNA’s are mostly used to care for the elderly at Nursing homes although it can be spread out more to anyone who can’t take care of themselves and need assistance. We help feed, bath, change, and just about everything for these people. Its hard work. You can get paid around the range of 9-13 dollars depending on your experience and where you work which is better than minimum wage jobs but we do have a lot more on our heads. There are so many rules and laws that are suppose to be followed. Its hard work, mentally and physically but a lot of the CNA’s that I saw during clinicals seem to do it with a real feeling of wanting to help people and brighten their lives a little and to make their last years as comfortable as possible. It has truly been a tiring past week because we had so many problems getting our clinical paperwork filed and done for our class so we had to miss four days of school to do full school days of clincals and let me tell you you that you haven’t experienced true tired until you have been worked out mentally and physically (Mostly standing except for some random events of needing to change people and move them) until you’ve been at a long term care facility all day long for a couple days straight. Its also super heart wrenching for me and I cried today (at home, no worries it wasn’t at clinicals) about how a lot of these people don’t have anything except for the basic basics because they don’t have family bringing them things and doing their landry because even landry gets mixed up and might not come back. Even things like shampoo might be taken and put in another resident’s things. I just want to buy every single person a blanket and lots of teddy bears to make them feel loved and have their own things. Also I would get clothes of all sizes and colors for all of them. It’s hard to not feel like crying when I think of how a lot of these people don’t have their family there with them and caring for them. At least go and visit once in a while! Bring them some fuzzy socks and have the kids hand draw some pictures! People have no idea how something so little can effect their life and make them smile that day or even the whole week.

I’m also tired because now my weekends are not my sleeping in days because I work in the mornings at around 8:30 till when the cafĂ© I work at starts to get slow. Usually its around 11:30 to 1ish when I get to leave. Its not many hours but because it is in the mornings I don’t get much sleep in at all throughout the week. I mean I do get an extra hour of sleep on the weekends then the school week though. whoohoo one hour!

I have mostly been having a little depression issues again because for most of my classes throughout the school day I have felt completely left out socially. Other people all have their clicks and group of people they are good with and they don’t want to add anyone else. I have a really hard time trying to fit in sometimes. There are times I feel completely in and great and others where I feel like I’m invisible. For example in CNA I felt completely invisible for a long time because everyone already knew each other in that class to begin with and then pretty much every time I would try to say something or ask things to classmates in that class I literally get no response from anyone. When the people are separated and around me they are so much more welcoming to conversing with me and working on skills for the class with me but for the most part everyone already has their best friend in that class but me. It sucks having an all girl class.

I’m sorry for such a very long long post but it has been a long time since I’ve been back. I shall try posting more now because I think it would help me to write everything all out.

Have a fantastic Friday tomorrow!
D.

P.S. How is everybody doing? Please let me know!

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What would you do?

I have been a little hurt and a bit royally ticked off at my supposed best friend. Throughout the summer we have talked on the phone and have been texting each other. When we talk on the phone our conversations can last for hours and we have a good time. We text really long messages to one another. I’ve known her since middle school and now we are going into our last year of highschool. She goes to a different highschool than me at this time. I dont remember the last time we hung out to be honest. I know we have gone to the movies and such but its always really far spaced apart when we hang out due to rides and me not wanting to go to her mom’s house (long story). Basically now I have had my car set up and been driving the past two or three weeks now. We have talked about going to the movies to see Monsters university since the original had come out when we were kids and we heard by a lot of people that it was funny. I got a free movie ticket from donating blood on a blood bus so I was ecstatic to go. Her schedule for the summer is that she is at her mom’s house two days of the week (In the same city and about 15 minutes away) and the rest of the week she is at her dad’s (About half an hour to 45 minutes away). I told her that since she’ll be at her mom’s house on tuesday and wednesday of that week that we should go to the movies and hang out and she said that the days she is at her mom’s that she leaves those days free to hang out with Kvonn. Kvonn has been this huge thing for her for over a year now because he is her first and only boyfriend. He apparently broke up with her on a etxt message two times. I honestly feel that if soemone were to do that to me I wouldn’t consider us dating or whatever because that’s childish and obviously I didnt mean enough to the other person to say it in person or even on the phone. She keeps talking about this guy all the time and honestly he sounds rediculious. My advice is always the same and that is to forget about him. We are in highschool for pete’s sake. I told her that those two days were the only days I could go that week due to ride wise and such because this conversation took place a couple weeks ago when I was still weary about driving alone. She said that her dad could drive her and me to the movies even though he lives about half an hour away. So I was like okay then tell me when you are free. Then the week after that we were on the phone and she said oh we need to go to the movies but not when she is at her mom’s because those days are completely claimed for kvonn. I was like okay what about tomorrow because its a monday? She told me that oh I cant because we are probably going to seaworld. At that point I was just done. I said okay then you let me know when you are free because its obviously based off of her schedule, not mine. Its been about a week since that happened and she messaged me last night on facebook and I never looked at it or replied.

My feelings on it is that she is being so selfish and that if I were to tell her that you know what, it irritates me and hurts my feelings that you have two days that are convenient for everyone for us to hang out and she would rather hang out with him for both days. He wont be there for her after this schoolyear. She is treating the person who would be her best friend like crap. I dont want to tell her because then if she says oh well then what about we hang out on one of those days, she wont be making it out of her head. I dont even want to hang out with her right now but yet I feel like Ive known her for so long and so it sucks to just let things go?

What would you do?

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Awesome Product I just Got

I just got this at the store today for a dollar. I love it so much. I want to buy some more for funny little just inc ase gifts!

They are pomegranate tissue boxes. I was expecting the box to have tissues that look like the inside of pomegrantes but they are just normal tissues. oh well. But the box is beautiful. There are even oranges and avacados. I looked online. At the store, all they had were pomegrantes. But in all honesty they are the prettiest to me.

This is the website page that has a picture of all three and I believe a video.

http://www.twentyfortwenty.com/product-p/cos-r1-236xx.htm

Hope everyone is doing well,
D.

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Frustration

*Sigh*

I am so tired and frustrated right now. I havent gotten a chance to be on here in months :/ and so much has happened since then. If you dont want to read a little bit of a rant then continue on your day good person. :)

I have been babysitting most of my summer at a young couple’s home. The child is about 1 and a half. At first it wasnt too bad because the mother actually offered me 8 dollars an hour to begin with. (I’m still in highschool for now and probably wouldnt have done much else with my summer anyway) She was saying how she would like to pay me more if she could in the future as her job progresses. Well she originally got laid off at a child daycare place (where she would take her daughter to work for free) and left on bad terms then went to Outback as a server and then picked up another serving job at a place called Beef O brady and then A t and t (all three at the same time) then quit there and is now starting up at a Medical office and is planning to quit at one of the serving jobs.

Her husband is working at a Plant Nursery pretty much everyday except one weekend during the month. He leaves super early and comes home around 6.

Her schedule was here and there and everywhere. Some days would be like 2 or 3pm till 6pm when her husband got home. Other days would be 10 or 11am to 6pm. Days apart from when i would work could go for working for 4 days straight to not working for 4 days straight. She has cancelled on me about 3 or 4 times and most of those times she didnt tell me. I would text her to check time and she would say oh I thought my husband told you it was cancelled today. (her and her husband agreed to pick me up and drop me back off because I hate driving so have avoided getting the driving test up till now, so I would be waiting at home all day waiting for her and to find out she wasnt coming and when she would come she would usually come 30 minutes earlier then she said.)

well witht he whole a t and t thing she was asking if she could pay me a salary because she thought she would be working from 9 in the morning till something at night and her husband gets home around 6pm so itd be like that monday through friday. I did the math and found out it would be about 45 hours that she wanted me each week and from what she had been paying me which was 8 dollars and hour it would cost 360 dollars each week and I knew that was way too much to ask for so i said what about 300 because that would be about 6 something per hour. She wanted to pay around 150 a week. 150 divided by 45 hours gives me about 2 something an hour. 45 hours is over the amount of time for a full time job someplace. I could be making 7 something an hour someplace for way less hours to make 150 dollars a week. I checked prices online. On craigslist you can find people who charge 20 bucks a day but the kid goes to that person’s house along with a bunch of other peoples kids and at the daycare they charge about 150 a week. The Mother doesnt want to take her kid to someone’s house or to a daycare because the kid has a bunch of allergies to a ton of different foods (Anything with perservatives, carrots, dairy products) and she didnt want her kid sick all the time. Basically she wants someone to stay at the house for 9 hours a day for 5 days a week for 150 a week. Lately she has been asking me to be ready at 7 in the morning. I have to take a nap when the baby takes a nap but I keep the monitor close to me.

I told the mom whats probably best is for her to find someone else in the next couple weeks and I will work for her on the salary pay till then. I didnt think she was going to pay last week on the salary deal because we hadnt come up with it till this week but she did. I dont want to ask to much from them but its like this, I know she is working two serving jobs and her husband is working a full time job and they have a roommate who pays money monthly now. :/ I know she is saying basically she wants to be making more then she pays the babysitter so that its worth her going to work but its kind of not fair to ask so many hours of me for a little pay.

I cant wait till she finds someone else to take over. She said she would still call me for date night things and weekends but since Ive been working for them they have been argueing and havent had a single date night…so thats kind of out the window but maybe weekends for some extra money unless I get a new job and work weekends there.

Sorry for ranting :( I just need to get it out of my system. Even if no one reads it, its nice to write it all out.

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Bitter Sweet

My Junior year in high school is coming to close. Soon all the seniors of this year will be exempt from school for about a month and the school will be a smaller and quieter place.

Next year I will be a senior and already I am facing a huge pile of things I will have to do. Not only will I have to worry about my core classes such as english and math (thankfully I finished all my science credits so thats one less thing to worry about) and the norm of being a senior which is finding colleges I want to apply for then apply for scholarships but I will have so many clubs to worry about. I will be taking CNA which is short for Certified Nursing Assistant which is a half year program usually and I will have to go to a certain amount of hours of clinicals at different nursing homes and study hard for classwork and class tests but then the end of the year test which I will hopefully pass with flying colors. I can use this certificate as a part time job if I wanted to while going to college or I could make a career out of it but of course I want to go further in the medical field. I will first go to college to become a Registered Nurse then hopefully continue my education to become something higher or specialize in something. I want some experience around the hospital before making my mind up of what I want to do with it. CNA in highschool is neat because you supposedly get super close to the people in your class since you are with them about 4 hours a day. haha Its only up to 15 students per class. This past year every single person in the CNA program passed their state test.

Next up is being in NHS. I applied to be in the National Honor Society my sophomore year and I’ve been in it since the middle of my sophomore year. It is a pain in the butt to be in honestly. I am only in it because it is good for college. You have to go to the general meeting once a month unless you have an excuse and you have o join a committee. There are 5 committees one for every day of the school week so you pick a day and go once a week or every other week. I have tried getting into this club more but I just dont have it in me. I dont feel included. I only go for what I have to. they do a lot of little things throughout the year which I really loathe going for since I feel so excluded.

My major club I really care for is HOSA which is the health science club. HOSA is short for health occupational students of america. We are health kids who compete and try to make our community better. Our competitions go from regionals to states to nationals. its easy to get top 3 for regionals but harder for nationals when you get to states. Our uniform is a black or navy blue suit. Guys have to wear a dark red tie and of course girls must wear close toed shoes. The first year I competed in the exporaneous speaking which is where they give you a topic and you have 10 minutes to prepare a speech and then 5 minutes to speak to judges. This past year I did one with a team which I felt was very annoying working with people who are all seniors since they know each other so well and I’m like cool for you. They’d gossip during meetings and I’m like I dont know those people and want to get to work on our thing. We did a Biomedical Debate which is where they give the topic online and you prepare for both sides and then go take a test on research information (you have to figure out what to research they only give you some vocab words to know) then debate. The full time it takes to debate is 22 minutes. There is a certain format. Our topic this year was should doctors be able to ration surgeries and medical supplies due to a patients lifestyle choice such as smoking, obesity, and etc. It is a very controversy topic. For this club I plan to run for President may 7th. I am running with Kim who I met this year so we arent that close but we get along fine. She will hopefully be my vice president. We hope to change Hosa to make it fun for everyone. Perhaps do more community things such as collecting soaps and other toiletries for people who dont have anything so they can at least be comfortable. Right now the club is doing a Crutches for Africa which is where we take canes, walkers, wheelchairs, and crutches and send them to a place where they have rehabilitating prisoners fix them and make them like new and then they send it to africa for people who are born with deformed legs or have an accident and can not walk. This club will take a lot of my time. I want to put this first because this club is dear to my heart. I love it even with its disorganization. Kim and I will change it!

I guess I should include that I am in Book club but we only have meetings during lunch for that haha.

Last but not least! I am in ROTC. I have mentioned that before. It has given me a lot of heart ache because I have felt not included for I’ve felt that I wasn’t given a position that I deserved due to my effort in class. I’ve finally been given an opportunity this week though. I had heard rumors a couple weeks ago about the officers now making me an officer for next year. They want to make me a Supply Officer. They talked to me about it today. They haven’t told their other choices yet, they planned to do that may 1st but because my schedule is so hefty they wanted to tell me now to give me time to choose. I feel so happy but yet kind of upset. Upset at myself. I dont feel like I have given my full to this organization. I have attempted drill practices after school but none have made me feel included or good about myself so I stopped going. Even the one I really enjoyed learning things in because I felt so crappy due to the Commanding officer of that drill team. She made me feel so low so I just stopped. If I do become an officer I will have to attempt at least one drill team. I might go to Unarmed basic which is just plain marching or athletics which is of course just athletics! haha. Id have to go on runs and do more exercises to build up to that though because only about 5 guys go a week that I see and so id be that only girl having to stop constantly and I dont want that. I want to improve outside of it then come and be able to hang with the guys even in athletics! I actually just came back from a long needed run. I thought itd clear my mind and help me start my plan of getting fit! I am not overweight by any means but I am not really toned either. My arms are a little toned but thats only from the occasional push ups in rotc class. So It seems like I will be taking the position but I will wait a little while to let it settle in my head because I have always felt that being in any position where people look at you for guidance that you must never quit in anything. SO when it comes to pushups and situps or runs and other things I have to make myself the last girl standing and hopefully beat out a lot of guys so that I have respect from everyone. Usually with pushups I have been the last girl pushing them out though but not when doing situps! I hate situps…My biggest strength is sprinting though. I can sprint super fast for a girl. Im usually the first or second fastest girl. This basically means I hate having to work out but I will have to do it or I will be disappointed in myself :/. Another strength I have in ROTC is that I have a loud command voice and so I think that’s the main reason why they are recognizing me. Now I just have to perfect my marching and teaching.

Today was also my boyfriend and my 6 month versary. I have told him about them giving me this position if I want it but he hasnt really said anything. I told him I heard the rumor before and he didnt say anyting then either. He is also in ROTC. He has a good command voice as well but not the confidence. I wish he’d get it together. :/ I’d love to help him get through the ranks. Nothing would bring me more joy then to help someone else reach the next rank especially someone so close to me. he is a year below me. It’s weird going out with someone younger but it works out haha. I wish he would tell me what he thought on all of this. I feel so stressed out by all this and he doesnt seem to feel one way or the other about it. It kind of lowers my excitement about any of it. I dont want to say anything to him about it either though because I dont want a fake reaction like oh you got this if he really thinks I cant handle it. He really does care about me though and I can tell because I dont keep track of the time we’ve “been together” and he does and will tell me oh next week is our 5 month or whatever. We just had military ball saturday night and he got me a corsage and got a ring seperately and had them add it to the flowers. The ring is a turtle because I adore Sea turtles and tortoises! He also got me a turtle thing today. I made cookies but I dont think they turned out great. Oh earlier I put quotation marks around been together because I feel like it’s still highschool so I try not to take anything to serious. We saw a senior guy proposing to his girlfriend on saturday night and everyone was cheering and I felt weird because at the oldest they are 19 and they already are making that huge of a commitment? I have seen so many divorces and I hate how two people who once loved each other supposedly can hate each other in the end and always talk bad about each other and want only to ruin the other person’s life and that scares me. I never want to be like that. If I marry someone I want a prinup so that way if there are kids in the marriage and we get a divorce its equal time and equal with the money and everything as well. During divorces people become so hateful and forget that everyone deserves a life. It seems usually that wives will take everything from the husband. Getting the car, the house, and then money every month. Thats not much of a life for that guy :/ unless he cheated or abused her then he doesnt deserve that. I got really off topic!

Have a great evening!
D.

Have you ever felt happy and yet stressed about something?

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Gratitude Journal Entry #5

I am thankful for chocolate pastries from Panera bread! They just bring a little bit of happiness into your day :)

I am also thankful for all my family that have been there for me. I’m also grateful for my true friends.

Keep Smiling,
D.

What are you thankful for today?

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